flying

I'm still on such a rope high! Every time I think back to Saturday I still feel this place inside my chest start to grin and wiggle happily.

When I got to the rope class I was happy to find the same group of younger folks who I've been getting to know, and was excited to tie/be tied with them. It's always a little nervous going without a partner, but I felt pretty comfortable with the idea of working with any of them. When M, our teacher, kind of looked at me with a question of if I wanted to demo again, I was thrilled - I had expected that she wouldn't need me two classes in a row, I'd assumed that she had a regular bunny. We hit pretty much every tie I've been wanting to experience from the bottom - an arm binder (corset style - so pretty!), a wrist to ankle tie (mmm..perfect exposure), and a hogtie that included a chest harness (I so need to practice my chest harness and box tie). When she wanted to loop a strand across my mouth, and then briefly across my neck, I heard my girlfriend's voice in my head talking about listening to what I really wanted and cautioning against making escalating decisions while rope-high. I was glad that I thought about that perspective, about the non-verbal and not explicit asking for and granting of consent that happened. I'm glad that I felt that flutter of concern, and I'm glad I did it anyway. God, it was so hot! I'm struggling to not sexualize it, the feeling of being touched and wrapped, even as a demo, is so incredible.

I was totally on a high after the class, admiring my marks, giggling. M was saying that she really enjoyed tying me, and asked if I'd be interested in practicing outside of class. Ummm...yes! It feels a bit snobbish since I'm still a novice at rigging, but it's really exciting to be tied by someone with confidence and experience, who moves with purpose and can pay attention to those niceties, like even rope tension or the right tightness/looseness for the particular purpose. The more she ties me, the more confident I feel in her abilities. It's teaching me to work though discomfort, to begin to expand my definition of acceptable discomfort, claiming ground from places where I would usually jump to "bad pain!"

That night we both went to the party. I wasn't sure what she was interested in doing, but I was game for anything. As I said, I'm trying to de-sexualize the situation - I know she's bi, but she's committed to her Dom, and I would absolutely hate to step on any toes this early. I already half feel like I am by becoming the "teacher's pet" above people who might have been going to classes longer than I have.

The experience was nothing short of amazing. Eye opening. Delightful! She started a little sensuously, stretching my shoulders. Almost naked in a thong and peacock blue heels, chest thrust forward and curled as she pulled my shoulders back and pushed them forward, working hard to balance while my eyes half closed in joy at *finally.being.touched* for the first time in a month by hands that aren't my own (or aren't my lab partners clinically practicing examinations). The beginning of the chest harness was sensual, arms wrapped around my chest, rope drawing across erect nipples. There was a break in the silent eroticism when she explained that she was re-doing a portion, experimenting. It was a nice giggle, a chance to encourage experimentation. After all, that's what I was there for, and I was totally loving it.

She soon had me in a beautiful and very secure TK, arms boxed behind me, feeling grateful that I've been starting to stretch and develop some arm and shoulder muscles recently. She let me play around a little once she'd secured me to the ring, stumbling on my heels a bit as I swung and laughed. A length of coconut rope went around my supporting leg - less painful than I'd expected, but I'm sure it would be miserable if it had been someplace where pressure was applied. The other ankle got tied in a single column, and slowly I ended up balancing on my right leg, the rest of my body dangling from the rotating ring. She showed me how I could kick up my other foot to rest on the suspended ankle, and I was in heaven! I had a slight moment of self-consciousness for my belly, softly draping down with gravity in a way that is reminiscent of being pregnant, but with loose skin. But I was quickly lost in the delight of it all.

I couldn't hold the position very long due to the strain on my core muscles, suspended just by my chest and my ankle with the majority of my mass having to fight for alignment. I ended up sadly giving in and putting my free foot back on the ground, disappointing that I couldn't stay up longer. Happily, M fixed this by grabbing some more rope and wrapping a few passes around my hips. It wasn't necessarily the most elaborate, but it certainly did the trick and got me back into the air. Another loop around my mid-thighs and I was set - the waist band wasn't doing much at that point, but I could easily hold my core from knees to shoulders. She lay on the ground under me and spun me around, blood rushing to my face as I giggled and went cross-eyed, both of us grinning and celebrating what felt like an accomplishment.

When she brought me down I was shaking slightly, and ready for a hug, and to sit. That post-play time is such a good bonding time for me, open and vulnerable, but I'm still not sure how to feel around M so I busied myself with tidying her rope - everyone has a different way to store rope!

(I just wrote another piece I'm going to post about my Dad, so I'm having a hard time re-capturing the joy at this point, I'm just writing to journal, to have the record, but trust me, future self, when I assure you that I was/am super excited!)

But the best part of the evening? She asked me to go with her to the most amazing rope event! She's going to an intensive a few hours away, for a weekend next month, with this fantastic rope model/rigger, and needs a bunny. How I got so lucky, I just don't know. I don't think I even know enough rope to properly appreciate the things I'm going to be learning, but I'm so honored to get the chance to learn at this kind of a level while I'm still a beginner. Rope! Learning!

I still have marks from two nights ago. I've been rubbing them absently, when taking a test today, during class, and the little bloom of bruised pain makes me calm and smile every time. :)